Lost Love
by DuffJessica
Summary: Buffy must overcome the trials of losing the one person that truly made her happy. contains implied femslash
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Here goes my second story. Got this idea from reading a novel in Japanese, the writing style is somewhat odd in English but I hope you all like it. There was a bit of language problem on this mainly my utter lack at understanding the American dialect (my spell check does not like American slang). Please be kind and review.

_Voices_

Even though she is my best friend, sometimes Willow makes me so mad. Willow Rosenberg was blessed in many ways and took everything for granted.

_Stop whining_

Another thing that makes me mad

_You need to get over it_

Easy for her to say, that by the way is Tara my guardian angel.

We were soul mates in life and are now in death inseparable.

Willow and Tara used to be lovers. I stood and watched as Willow got one more thing she did not deserve.

_It's over now_

Tara always was too forgiving.

_I forgave you_

Case in point

I was never supportive of their relationship.

_I did not know how you felt_

Like that would have been and easy conversation.

I love Tara; I would have died to keep Warren's stray shot from taking her.

_I know_

It is not enough.

_Does it have to be?_

I know what she is going to say next; that we are together now.

_We are_

It's hard

How long can I keep this up?

How much longer can I look at Willow and not hate her?

_You have to try_

I am

She is here now standing in my house with that hussy of hers.

_Buffy!!!_

I barely made it through that night.

Willow may have gone on a killing spree but I went somewhere worse, I went to war.

Killing Warren was the easy way out.

_She was never strong on her own_

I don't think she wanted to be.

Then she met that bitch Kennedy and again she took the easy way out.

Instead of dealing, she settled between another girls legs, emphasis on the 'girl'.

_That did hurt_

The only thing keeping me form walking over there and slapping both of them is that I know Tara would be disappointed.

_I love you_

I love you to, more than anything.

Now Willow is talking to Xander yet another person she took for granted.

_I am sorry_

None of it is your fault.

_I wish I could do more_

Being in my thoughts is enough.

_There are so many things left unsaid_

What kind of talk is that?

…

Tara?

Tara!

The silence is deafening.

For two years, I have not been without Tara's calming voice in my head.

Tara!

Nothing

Am I alone again?

I feel the ground shake and the sound of Xander's voice but it all feels so distant.

Surely, she would not have just left me.

She would have fought.

Xander is trying to get me to act, to make his decision for him like the old days.

Dawnie's at my side trying to calm me. She is the only one I ever told about Tara. She must see the pain in my eyes.

"Enough", I say silencing the many outside voices. I focus on my weapon and seconds later, the red scythe is in my hand. Whatever is coming we will deal with it, then I am going to find who silenced Tara, and then I am going to hurt them.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I apologize for how late this update came. I will try to do better now that I have my laptop back.

I remember rage.

My whole world was rage.

Nothing seems real anymore.

A year ago, I was in heaven.

Peace and joy filled every pore of my body.

Willow and Xander could not live with out me.

They convinced themselves that I was in hell and needed rescuing.

I mean god, they did not even try to consult the powers-that-be.

All it would have taken was one phone call to Angel and he could have asked where the oracles where I was.

I think he knew.

So did Spike and Dawn.

Everyone tried to tell Willow and Xan that they were wrong.

Tara blessed Tara.

She was a prisoner to her own mind.

We were both lost.

After Tara finally left Willow, we started hanging out more.

It was then that I realized that I loved her.

Spike ever the Anglican recognized my pain and got me in church.

I even got Tara to go with me, just the two of us

Now she is gone.

I pray to god that he allowed her into heaven.

I am standing in a hospital listening to Xander tell me that Willow is going crazy.

I cannot focus on his words.

I shake my head because I must be going insane.

I must be crazy because I can hear whispers in my head.

_Not whispers prayers_

Shit.

What was that?

_It's ok Buffy_

Tara?

_That's right sweetie_

Now I know I am crazy.

_You are not crazy_

Stop arguing with me.

_I have a feeling that this will not be our last argument_

Oh god I am having a conversation with a voice in my head.

I must be schizophrenic.

_You are not schizophrenic_

I told you to stop arguing with me.

I really have hit the deep end.

_Willow needs us_

She does not deserve us.

_She is your friend_

She betrayed us.

_She took Osiris's power_

Why should I care?

_She is going to kill Warren._

Damn, why do I have to clean her up all the time?

I was too late.

I see Warren's flayed body on the ground.

Not all the rage I had for this man would ever lead me as far as taking his life.

_She has an addiction_

She is not just an addict.

She is a user.

She used magic just as she used us.

_I cannot argue_

She took pleasure in killing him and now she is going to kill Andrew and Jonathon.

_She is Giles' problem now_

He can have her.

_You need to protect Dawn_

If Willow harms a hair on her head, I will make her life hell.

_Dawnie is stronger than you think_

You are right.

You were always right.


End file.
